As parents, the hubs and I don’t go on kid-free vacations very often. We don’t leave them for more than one night but about once a year; so when it happens, we count down the days and are giddy as school kids. For weeks ahead of time, we dream about quiet time, sleeping in, how nice it will be to not have to answer 50 questions an hour and respond to a constant stream of toddler/kid conversation. We look forward to a break from parenting and refereeing our two monsters. (Monster = very loved and affectionate term for the amazing lil creatures that are ours).
So we spent Saturday packing for ourselves and the kids and cleaning the house and counting the hours til bedtime when we could tuck in the darlings and make our departure to the hotel by the airport so we could sleep in a lil before our 6:00 am flight. Finally the time come to say goodbye and good night. It went relatively well. Our 5 year old gets it and was ok with the week at the grandparents and our 2 year old has no clue but will be fine.
Then I got in the car to leave and realized that as much as I have been looking forward to our trip and adult time, I have to wonder if it is worth it. Leaving my babies to go on vacation out of the country is huge. As a person and wife, it is totally worth it and necessary to relax and recharge and connect with the hubs but on the mother level, the “what-if” scenario risks make me rethink my decision. We have all our ducks in a row with plans for the kids just in case and that eases some fear but still, if something happens and I’m not there I would never forgive myself.
These feelings are what every mother and parent goes through. It is amazing how many emotions you can feel once someone else depends on you. I have always loved to travel by airplane, boat, train, any mode of transport. I’ve been flying since I was only a coulpe years old and have never had any reservations about boarding a plane. But this morning, as I board my flight, I have a moment of healthy apprehension. I hope to instill the same love of travel in my kids and cant wait t to take them on our next adventure. Our son have been to Hawaii and already loves planes. He tells us often that he wants to go on a plane ride.
Now, as I share with you my reservations and apprehension, I am en route to a wonderful vacation that was a surprise from the hubs for our 11 year anniversary. Which is crazy to believe. Who would have thought it’s been 11 years already. CRAZY!!
So, I shall sit back and enjoy my Starbucks and remind myself that the kids are well taken care of and being spoiled as they should be by grandparents that adore them. And I will take a week to recharge and reconnect with myself and husband.